Worries and more worries

Wednesday afternoon I noticed a bump on the back of Z's head. It was not there before. It was a bit squishy but very noticeable. Thursday I took him to the pedi and she had no clue what it was. She said it was not life threatening...yet my mind is convinced it is. I have seen too many bad things happen to people and too many unexpected things happen to people too.

The doc thinks it is possibly his soft spot and when the bones closed they may have overlapped. Or it could be a subcutaneous blood clot. I agreed to watch it over the weekend and beep her if I notice a change in the size or in him.

So I was up all night watching him...Is he sleeping too much, too little? Is he eating too much, too little? How is he breathing? How is he moving? Is he fussy? I just sit and stare at my baby wondering what this bump is and if it has grown. I dreamed last night it did grow.

I am to call on Monday if nothing changes and we go from there. He may have to have a CT scan done. I made the mistake of looking up "bulging posterior fontanels". I saw the phrase "infection in fluid around the brain" and then "spinal tap"...no mother wants to read that!!! I also saw that it could have fused too early and can interfere w/brain growth if not caught in time. Luckily, I found it ASAP.

Z, mommy loves you and I will do what I can to keep you healthy.