'Tis the Season
Yes I am trying hard to enjoy the holiday season but let me tell you this, sometimes you just can't. I mean it isn't that I'm not enjoying it but I can't really get into the spirit as much as I want.
I'm not depressed and I'm not feeling sorry for myself but just a bit blah...maybe that is self pity! LOL
There is just so much going on and I can't even explain it all here. My son had his adenoids out and well, so far he is not sleeping ANY better. I know, let's give it time. But then what do I do? How can I force him to stay asleep all night and stay in his bed? I fall asleep reading the 2 books I have on sleeping so that isn't very helpful!
I love that kid so much and as his second birthday approaches, I still look at him and think..."Wow! I am this kids Mother!". I am so very lucky to have him. God is trying to teach me patience and to slow down, stop and smell the roses and not to sweat the small stuff. Trust me, I see all that in my son. I am finally starting to get it. Today I let the dirty dishes sit so I could sit w/him on the floor and play w/his trains. He looked over at me and said, "Hug Mommy" and gave me a HUGE hug. I wasn't nagging him to stop making a mess or torturing the dog (that is another entry in itself), but I was Mommy...sitting by his side saying "Choo choo" and pushing the train around. I was his friend and playmate and at that moment that was ALL that I cared about...not the dishes, dirty floors, laundry and dust bunnies. Of course after 10 min he was done w/me and moved on but I cherish those 10 minutes and vowed to have more of them.
After he got in his jammies, he came to me and grabbed my hand and said, "ni ni Mom". Yes, I went and laid down w/him. He LOVES to cuddle and I use to be so hard on myself for laying down w/him but you know what, life is short and if my son wants to cuddle w/me then so be it! We lay there in bed and read a story, he holds my hand, plays with my hair and kisses me and laughs and then he curls up super close and falls asleep. Never did I think I could learn so much from such a strongwilled curious person.
Love. It's that simple. That is what this season is about. I remember when I was little and all my siblings came to my parents house and it was wonderful. The house was loud, messy and CRAZY but man, it was fun. Now the gatherings are less frequent but twice as large, loud and messy. The love I feel for my family is incredible. No matter how angry I get with them, I still love them. I feel safe around them. I am so very lucky to have the large crazy ass family I have. And you know I think I am going to try my hardest to enjoy this holiday. I want my son to have the same memories...always feeling warm and safe with his family and never doubting for one second how much he is loved.
I'm not depressed and I'm not feeling sorry for myself but just a bit blah...maybe that is self pity! LOL
There is just so much going on and I can't even explain it all here. My son had his adenoids out and well, so far he is not sleeping ANY better. I know, let's give it time. But then what do I do? How can I force him to stay asleep all night and stay in his bed? I fall asleep reading the 2 books I have on sleeping so that isn't very helpful!
I love that kid so much and as his second birthday approaches, I still look at him and think..."Wow! I am this kids Mother!". I am so very lucky to have him. God is trying to teach me patience and to slow down, stop and smell the roses and not to sweat the small stuff. Trust me, I see all that in my son. I am finally starting to get it. Today I let the dirty dishes sit so I could sit w/him on the floor and play w/his trains. He looked over at me and said, "Hug Mommy" and gave me a HUGE hug. I wasn't nagging him to stop making a mess or torturing the dog (that is another entry in itself), but I was Mommy...sitting by his side saying "Choo choo" and pushing the train around. I was his friend and playmate and at that moment that was ALL that I cared about...not the dishes, dirty floors, laundry and dust bunnies. Of course after 10 min he was done w/me and moved on but I cherish those 10 minutes and vowed to have more of them.
After he got in his jammies, he came to me and grabbed my hand and said, "ni ni Mom". Yes, I went and laid down w/him. He LOVES to cuddle and I use to be so hard on myself for laying down w/him but you know what, life is short and if my son wants to cuddle w/me then so be it! We lay there in bed and read a story, he holds my hand, plays with my hair and kisses me and laughs and then he curls up super close and falls asleep. Never did I think I could learn so much from such a strongwilled curious person.
Love. It's that simple. That is what this season is about. I remember when I was little and all my siblings came to my parents house and it was wonderful. The house was loud, messy and CRAZY but man, it was fun. Now the gatherings are less frequent but twice as large, loud and messy. The love I feel for my family is incredible. No matter how angry I get with them, I still love them. I feel safe around them. I am so very lucky to have the large crazy ass family I have. And you know I think I am going to try my hardest to enjoy this holiday. I want my son to have the same memories...always feeling warm and safe with his family and never doubting for one second how much he is loved.
posted by Momma Jen at 7:17 PM
1 Comments:
That sounds very sweet!
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