Just some things
I started Clomid this cycle and boy oh boy, it has been a whirlwind. It worked so well with us for Jonathan but I'm afraid I will get my hopes up (well they already are up pretty high)and then the end result will be a devastating blow. But what can I do? I am going to go with it and see what happens. I feel lefty and righty (more so righty) going strong. Time will tell.
I think we are ready for #2 but many times I 2nd guess myself. I don't know. I try to let it all be in God's hands. If he wants me to have a 2nd baby, then I suppose I will have one. I'll be honest, I want #2 to come quickly so I can get off the insulin and lose some of my "insulin" weight. I am so tired of shooting up 4 times a day. Yes I know that is selfish but at the same time it isn't. I am doing all this to give my future baby the best chance at life that I can. However, after 4 years, it gets a bit old. :-)
Mom seems to be doing well. They removed her PICC line and now she just waits for her foot to heal. Dad on the other hand has to go for an xray of some sort for his lungs. He made a comment that if they find any more cancer he will not treat it. I respect that decision but at the same time I'm filled with fear. I tell myself that dad lived a long good strong life and I don't blame him for being done with it all but the selfish little girl in me wants Daddy to be here forever and never give up. Growing up I knew my parents were older, that happens when you are the youngest of 9, and I always prayed that my parents would be around to see me get married and then have a baby. Well I now want them around to get to know my son and vice versa. I remember in some movie the girl said she always pretended her parents were already dead so that when they did die, it wouldn't hurt as much. Ok I won't go that far, but I kinda see her point! LOL
I think we have JD only waking up at 3am now. Well that is how it went the past 3 nights. I could live with that. He is the joy of my life and I thank God everyday for him. I thank him for my messy house, the crayon on my walls and sofa, the dirty dishes, the toys everywhere and all that other not so fun stuff. If I didn't have the not so fun stuff, I wouldn't have my little Monster and he makes all that not so fun stuff well worth it!
I think we are ready for #2 but many times I 2nd guess myself. I don't know. I try to let it all be in God's hands. If he wants me to have a 2nd baby, then I suppose I will have one. I'll be honest, I want #2 to come quickly so I can get off the insulin and lose some of my "insulin" weight. I am so tired of shooting up 4 times a day. Yes I know that is selfish but at the same time it isn't. I am doing all this to give my future baby the best chance at life that I can. However, after 4 years, it gets a bit old. :-)
Mom seems to be doing well. They removed her PICC line and now she just waits for her foot to heal. Dad on the other hand has to go for an xray of some sort for his lungs. He made a comment that if they find any more cancer he will not treat it. I respect that decision but at the same time I'm filled with fear. I tell myself that dad lived a long good strong life and I don't blame him for being done with it all but the selfish little girl in me wants Daddy to be here forever and never give up. Growing up I knew my parents were older, that happens when you are the youngest of 9, and I always prayed that my parents would be around to see me get married and then have a baby. Well I now want them around to get to know my son and vice versa. I remember in some movie the girl said she always pretended her parents were already dead so that when they did die, it wouldn't hurt as much. Ok I won't go that far, but I kinda see her point! LOL
I think we have JD only waking up at 3am now. Well that is how it went the past 3 nights. I could live with that. He is the joy of my life and I thank God everyday for him. I thank him for my messy house, the crayon on my walls and sofa, the dirty dishes, the toys everywhere and all that other not so fun stuff. If I didn't have the not so fun stuff, I wouldn't have my little Monster and he makes all that not so fun stuff well worth it!
posted by Momma Jen at 6:59 PM
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