It's not suppose to be this way!
After an exhausting evening at the park, I came home to a phone call from my sister. My mother who has had foot trouble (bone degeneration) had broken her one foot years back and has had continuous problems with it. Well about 3 wks ago her good foot broke! UGH! Yes, mom is overweight and has diabetes but has always had these conditions. Well they gave her some boot to wear and she seemed fine. Turns out that on Sunday morning she got up to go potty in the makeshift potty in their bedroom my dad made (he is so kind to her but does have some crazy ideas!) and apparently broke her ankle! Now I saw mom on Sunday and she was using a walker to get around but was in GREAT spirits and not really complaining. JD seems to light her up and I love that! Anyway, she had a foot appt on Tues and was then informed her ankle was broken! She can not put any weight on it whatsoever! So they had to get her a new improved wheelchair, dad built her a ramp (which now is too small for the new wheelchair) and she goes to the surgeon today to see if she needs surgery on her ankle. WTF! My parents are amazing people...they raised 9 children and are always ready to give the shirt off their backs to help anyone out! Now at 64 and 73 they have no money (thanks to my f'd up brother and PSIL), are in poor health and can not enjoy life like they should! Fuck!
My dad is very active and mom's injuries have slowed him down a bit. Since her heart surgery and near death in 2000 Dad has been a new man. He does EVERYTHING for my mom. I see it taking a toll on him, yet he never complains.
Well the phone call gets better...turns out this skin cancer dad has had on his arm, is not getting better. He goes for a CAT (or is it KAT) scan and then if it is no where else (please God) then he gets some treatment that will take 4 hrs and they basically peel the layers of skin off or something. OMG! I am in shock. My parents should not be in this situation! They have to pay a monthly fee to rent the wheelchair...$90 but I hope Medicare covers part of that!!!
My sis said she was over there and dad was sitting on the front porch drinking a beer. She said he told her that he fears they will put mom thru this surgery and then in the end amputate her foot. My sis said Dad was drinking quite a bit. He is worried. He is worried about mom, himself and how he is going to take care of her. Mom can not be left alone while she is healing. I'm scared and I'm sad.
I feel guilty but I'm sad that my mom's health is slowing my dad down. Now don't get me wrong, I am sad about my mom's health but she is still VERY happy and is content sitting by herself doing nothing. Really, she is! Dad is not. He likes to go go go! I know he loves her so much and would NEVER leave her at home to go do something but I fear that this is going to age him more than he is ready for. He is a young 73 and she is an old 64.
I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to protect them. I want a money tree so I can pay all their bills and at least eliminate that stress. There is nothing I can do. It breaks my heart.
Friday I have a half day. I am going to sit w/my parents. I will tell dad to go do what he needs to do and I'll take care of mom. I am also going to tell him that if he ever wants to go to the country for the weekend then to go and I'll stay at their house w/mom. I want him (and her) to know we are here for them. I want dad to enjoy life so that he can enjoy mom and not feel she is bringing him down and maybe resent her...although, I don't think he ever would.
When I was little I use to wonder why my parents never kissed like they did in the movies. I also wondered if they even liked each other...they yelled a lot but did laugh a lot too. After mom got sick and I watched dad by her side, holding her hand, praying with tears in his eyes, I knew that they had a love that went deeper than anyone would ever know. I could only dream that I would one day have that same love. I think that is why I married Jason. He is so much like my dad. His emotions are inside and people may judge us (as I did my parents) b/c we do not outwardly express our love but inside I know Jason loves me as my father loves my mother. It is such a deep and beautiful love.
Please God, please give my parents a break. I know for the first 40 years of their marriage you were good to them. These past 8 years have been rough so let the next 2 be wonderful. Please.
My dad is very active and mom's injuries have slowed him down a bit. Since her heart surgery and near death in 2000 Dad has been a new man. He does EVERYTHING for my mom. I see it taking a toll on him, yet he never complains.
Well the phone call gets better...turns out this skin cancer dad has had on his arm, is not getting better. He goes for a CAT (or is it KAT) scan and then if it is no where else (please God) then he gets some treatment that will take 4 hrs and they basically peel the layers of skin off or something. OMG! I am in shock. My parents should not be in this situation! They have to pay a monthly fee to rent the wheelchair...$90 but I hope Medicare covers part of that!!!
My sis said she was over there and dad was sitting on the front porch drinking a beer. She said he told her that he fears they will put mom thru this surgery and then in the end amputate her foot. My sis said Dad was drinking quite a bit. He is worried. He is worried about mom, himself and how he is going to take care of her. Mom can not be left alone while she is healing. I'm scared and I'm sad.
I feel guilty but I'm sad that my mom's health is slowing my dad down. Now don't get me wrong, I am sad about my mom's health but she is still VERY happy and is content sitting by herself doing nothing. Really, she is! Dad is not. He likes to go go go! I know he loves her so much and would NEVER leave her at home to go do something but I fear that this is going to age him more than he is ready for. He is a young 73 and she is an old 64.
I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to protect them. I want a money tree so I can pay all their bills and at least eliminate that stress. There is nothing I can do. It breaks my heart.
Friday I have a half day. I am going to sit w/my parents. I will tell dad to go do what he needs to do and I'll take care of mom. I am also going to tell him that if he ever wants to go to the country for the weekend then to go and I'll stay at their house w/mom. I want him (and her) to know we are here for them. I want dad to enjoy life so that he can enjoy mom and not feel she is bringing him down and maybe resent her...although, I don't think he ever would.
When I was little I use to wonder why my parents never kissed like they did in the movies. I also wondered if they even liked each other...they yelled a lot but did laugh a lot too. After mom got sick and I watched dad by her side, holding her hand, praying with tears in his eyes, I knew that they had a love that went deeper than anyone would ever know. I could only dream that I would one day have that same love. I think that is why I married Jason. He is so much like my dad. His emotions are inside and people may judge us (as I did my parents) b/c we do not outwardly express our love but inside I know Jason loves me as my father loves my mother. It is such a deep and beautiful love.
Please God, please give my parents a break. I know for the first 40 years of their marriage you were good to them. These past 8 years have been rough so let the next 2 be wonderful. Please.
posted by Momma Jen at 5:44 AM
2 Comments:
(((((JELLY)))) OMG sweetie that is terrible Im sorry to hear about your Mom and hopefully they can get it all fixed up for her. I will be praying for them both it seems like your father is truly a wonderful man and I can tell from your post that he truly loves her and would do anything for her that is awesome!! I hope all turns out for them both and keep us updated!! P&PT coming your way
(((((HUGS))))) I do hope everything works out. I know what it is like to take care of a parent and I admire you for wanting to help out if you can.
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