Friends
I wasn't sure what to title this post because it really is going to be a long strange post LOL
Almost 4 years ago my co-worker lost her 5 year old son to congenital heart defects...not sure what exactly it was so bare with me. I remember when T had Spencer and how happy they were. Unfortunately, at 5 wks old they were told of the sad news. Spencer would require 3 heart surgeries but I always believed that he would be fine b/c T wore that gracious smile on her face whenever asked about him. She was so full of hope. T and her DH gave Spencer the best life ever! He was a great kid and so beautiful! He was smart and funny and so loving. He survived the first 3 surgeries and needed a heart transplant...the last surgery was hard on him. He was in the hospital for over 8 months and then got the transplant. Spencer LOVED hockey and made friends w/many of the St. Louis Blues players. After his transplant, his kidneys began to fail.
In July of 2002 Spencer's story made it on the radio where they did a Children's Miracle Network radio-a-thon w/the local DJs at the 2 local Children's hospitals. I remember hearing T talk about Spencer and the DJs talk about him but Spencer was too sick to leave his room. On August 4, 2002, Spencer gave his mom and dad the "thumbs down" sign and acknowledged when mom and dad told him he'd be with his friends and Jesus soon. Spencer signed I love you and grew his angel wings. I will never forget the emails that I got fromT about Spencer. He truly touched my life in many ways. You can read Spencers story here:
http://tchin.org/spencersfund/bio.htm.
One of the ways that he touched my life was thru that radio-a-thon. While I was listening to it and making my pledge another family came on. They had a 14 YO daughter, Kaycey that also had CHD since birth. Kaycey was in need of a heart and double lung transplant. I was so moved by Kaycey's strength and her family's courage. I felt I knew Kaycey. I followed her story. Several months later my sister went to a craft fair. She came home and told me that she was having a Pampered Chef party as a fundraiser for this little girl Kaycey. Her mom was the PC Consultant. I was in awe. I got to meet Kaycey's mom. E is a wonderful woman and she shared Kaycey's story with us. She had a successful heart and double lung transplant and things were not looking good. E cried w/us and let us cry for her. She moved me more than she would ever know. I became friends w/E and grieved w/her when Kaycey became an angel on October 15, 2005. Kaycey was beautiful and is truly missed by SO many!
Last night E had called me and we talked for a long time. I asked her about her youngest daughter A who is going to a camp for kids who lost a sibling. I asked E about Kaycey and how her and A were a like. I felt bad at first but then I heard that joy in E's voice, she was happy to talk about Kaycey. We talked for about an hour. I realized again how strong E was and how lucky Kaycey was to have her and vice versa. E is a good person. I was honored at how much she shared with me about Kaycey. Kaycey and her family moved here when she needed the transplants and luckily, they have decided to stay. It is amazing how many people knew and loved Kaycey. You can read more about Kaycey here: http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/kayceygonzalez/
Why am I writing about this? Well I was just so moved after my phone conversation with E last night. I have 2 online friends struggling with their losses and 2 IRL friends and I never know what to do or say. It was just nice to have a normal conversation with E. I think this is what any mother who has lost a child probably wants...some normalcy. I may be totally wrong here but I bet it was nice for E to talk about Kaycey and other things too and just to share her happy memories. I hope it was nice for her anyway. I need to stop walking on egg shells, fearful of what to say and just be friends to these women. I'm learning but it is hard when your heart aches SO much for them. My friends are teaching me that all they really need from me, is to be their friend. That I can do! (((HUGS))) to my friends and prayers to all the Angels smiling down on us.
Almost 4 years ago my co-worker lost her 5 year old son to congenital heart defects...not sure what exactly it was so bare with me. I remember when T had Spencer and how happy they were. Unfortunately, at 5 wks old they were told of the sad news. Spencer would require 3 heart surgeries but I always believed that he would be fine b/c T wore that gracious smile on her face whenever asked about him. She was so full of hope. T and her DH gave Spencer the best life ever! He was a great kid and so beautiful! He was smart and funny and so loving. He survived the first 3 surgeries and needed a heart transplant...the last surgery was hard on him. He was in the hospital for over 8 months and then got the transplant. Spencer LOVED hockey and made friends w/many of the St. Louis Blues players. After his transplant, his kidneys began to fail.
In July of 2002 Spencer's story made it on the radio where they did a Children's Miracle Network radio-a-thon w/the local DJs at the 2 local Children's hospitals. I remember hearing T talk about Spencer and the DJs talk about him but Spencer was too sick to leave his room. On August 4, 2002, Spencer gave his mom and dad the "thumbs down" sign and acknowledged when mom and dad told him he'd be with his friends and Jesus soon. Spencer signed I love you and grew his angel wings. I will never forget the emails that I got fromT about Spencer. He truly touched my life in many ways. You can read Spencers story here:
http://tchin.org/spencersfund/bio.htm.
One of the ways that he touched my life was thru that radio-a-thon. While I was listening to it and making my pledge another family came on. They had a 14 YO daughter, Kaycey that also had CHD since birth. Kaycey was in need of a heart and double lung transplant. I was so moved by Kaycey's strength and her family's courage. I felt I knew Kaycey. I followed her story. Several months later my sister went to a craft fair. She came home and told me that she was having a Pampered Chef party as a fundraiser for this little girl Kaycey. Her mom was the PC Consultant. I was in awe. I got to meet Kaycey's mom. E is a wonderful woman and she shared Kaycey's story with us. She had a successful heart and double lung transplant and things were not looking good. E cried w/us and let us cry for her. She moved me more than she would ever know. I became friends w/E and grieved w/her when Kaycey became an angel on October 15, 2005. Kaycey was beautiful and is truly missed by SO many!
Last night E had called me and we talked for a long time. I asked her about her youngest daughter A who is going to a camp for kids who lost a sibling. I asked E about Kaycey and how her and A were a like. I felt bad at first but then I heard that joy in E's voice, she was happy to talk about Kaycey. We talked for about an hour. I realized again how strong E was and how lucky Kaycey was to have her and vice versa. E is a good person. I was honored at how much she shared with me about Kaycey. Kaycey and her family moved here when she needed the transplants and luckily, they have decided to stay. It is amazing how many people knew and loved Kaycey. You can read more about Kaycey here: http://www.caringbridge.org/tx/kayceygonzalez/
Why am I writing about this? Well I was just so moved after my phone conversation with E last night. I have 2 online friends struggling with their losses and 2 IRL friends and I never know what to do or say. It was just nice to have a normal conversation with E. I think this is what any mother who has lost a child probably wants...some normalcy. I may be totally wrong here but I bet it was nice for E to talk about Kaycey and other things too and just to share her happy memories. I hope it was nice for her anyway. I need to stop walking on egg shells, fearful of what to say and just be friends to these women. I'm learning but it is hard when your heart aches SO much for them. My friends are teaching me that all they really need from me, is to be their friend. That I can do! (((HUGS))) to my friends and prayers to all the Angels smiling down on us.
posted by Momma Jen at 5:24 AM
1 Comments:
Jelly that was so moving it brought me to tears wow what courageous souls and there stories are truky remarkable!!! I have an IRL friend who's DS just received his new heart about a month ago and so far so good I pray that he makes it for the long haul, he has been a fighter since the day he was born. I think your right most parents want normalcy instead of that akward feeling KWIM? I think your a great friend and always think of everyones needs before your own, Im proud to know you ;) (((HUGS))))
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