Why? I just don't understand...
I'm not a religous person, but I am spiritual. I believe God exists and I rely on Him for many things and always have. No, I don't go to church even though I long to. God has tested me several times and I've always tried not to question His choices and tried to make myself believe that things do happen for a reason. However, several things make me question Him and what He is doing.
I have a group of virtual friends that I love dearly. I feel these women are a part of my life and would be lost without them. I've only met one of the 50+ women in real life and I long to meet everyone of them yet, I don't need their face to care about them...strange isn't it? These women and I share many things. We have struggle with fertility issues and I've cried w/them over miscarriages and births to happy healthy babies. We've vented over daily struggles of life and we've cheered each other on. However, one of these women lost her son 20 hours after he was born. No, I can not begin to understand her pain but I feel angry for her. She is a strong incredible woman and secretly, she is my hero. She is moving on slowly. Her loss was our first loss as a group and we all grieved his death.
Several months ago I was paired up with a pregnant woman and we became buddies. I loved it! We chatted via email nearly everyday and shared many wonderful experiences. She was so excited to meet her son. I sent her a gift and we've talked on the phone a few times. I grew to love this woman and her unborn baby. I longed to meet her. She gave birth to her son on 8/9 and this sweet son has heart problems. He was almost the exact size of JD. She didn't get to hold him for 36 hrs and she only held him then b/c they feared he would not make it. They had to sweep him off to emergency surgery. He survived that surgery but undergoes another one tomorrow. I've been praying and praying for God take care of my buddy and her baby. I need him to heal this boy very quickly and allow his mommy and daddy to love him. Please God you can not take another child from our group. I'm afraid that if God takes this little one, I will lose faith. I don't understand how He can let that happen. Please oh please God, if you are reading this, take care of my buddy and her son...please...
I have a group of virtual friends that I love dearly. I feel these women are a part of my life and would be lost without them. I've only met one of the 50+ women in real life and I long to meet everyone of them yet, I don't need their face to care about them...strange isn't it? These women and I share many things. We have struggle with fertility issues and I've cried w/them over miscarriages and births to happy healthy babies. We've vented over daily struggles of life and we've cheered each other on. However, one of these women lost her son 20 hours after he was born. No, I can not begin to understand her pain but I feel angry for her. She is a strong incredible woman and secretly, she is my hero. She is moving on slowly. Her loss was our first loss as a group and we all grieved his death.
Several months ago I was paired up with a pregnant woman and we became buddies. I loved it! We chatted via email nearly everyday and shared many wonderful experiences. She was so excited to meet her son. I sent her a gift and we've talked on the phone a few times. I grew to love this woman and her unborn baby. I longed to meet her. She gave birth to her son on 8/9 and this sweet son has heart problems. He was almost the exact size of JD. She didn't get to hold him for 36 hrs and she only held him then b/c they feared he would not make it. They had to sweep him off to emergency surgery. He survived that surgery but undergoes another one tomorrow. I've been praying and praying for God take care of my buddy and her baby. I need him to heal this boy very quickly and allow his mommy and daddy to love him. Please God you can not take another child from our group. I'm afraid that if God takes this little one, I will lose faith. I don't understand how He can let that happen. Please oh please God, if you are reading this, take care of my buddy and her son...please...
posted by Momma Jen at 6:47 PM
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